WOWSERS PENNY! E3 08 Part Tooie

Wowsers Penny! This is what Inspector Gadget would say if he was still alive and reading about the extreme amount of backlash given to E3. Even this site, I pummeled E3 for being boring and giving us five extremely lackluster announcements. But now here for you all are what I consider the most interesting and surprising announcements at E3. Oh and if you think “Final Fantasy on 360” is going to be number one, then your obviously dumb and never read anything I wrote.

5. Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2

The first was so much fun and the sequel is introducing all new elements like coop and other things. I didn’t really look up that much about it yet, but I got all giddy like a kid who just got to the Neverland Ranch. Let’s hope this game stays good and doesn’t end up like leaving from the Neverland Ranch, which is when you rub your hiny.

4. Ratchet and Clank Future: Quest for Booty

Very cool. For some reason Naughty Dog was a no show at E3 this year, but Insomniac did showcase a new downloadable Ratchet game. This now brings Insomniac’s PS3 game total to 4 and Naughty Dog to 1. Weird.

You can't beat a platforming game set to a pirate theme. Hell, the greatest game of all time follows this format. There seems to be no negativity whatsoever. Oh and it also has the name booty in it. Haha booty!

3. Wii Sports: Resort

Looks good. I still don’t understand the decision to make a Waverace game, but then to ship it as part of a Wii Sports package, but whatever dude. This looks like fun, especially with Wii Motion Plus. The dog game did look stupid though. Personally I think this was a huge surprise. We didn't get the Punch Out or the Kid Ic... you know where I'm going with this. We were expecting a bunch of other games and instead Nintendo pulled this out of their hinies. Is that the plural form of hiny? The world may never have knowledge of this.

2. The Conduit

Yes, we already knew about this game. Yes, it’s a guy in a suit fighting aliens. Yes, EVERY GAME is a guy in a suit fighting aliens. But this is another FPS besides Metroid Prime 3 that will perfect the genre on the Wii. Was I excited before? Yes. Am I even more excited after I saw more of this game at E3? F**k yes. Are you tired of me wording every sentence in the same fashion? Yes? If Nintendo’s press conference was only The Conduit then it would have been a good show. What can I say, I’m a Nintendo fan starving for hardcore games on the Wii.

1. Banjo- -Kazooie on XBLA

What did you say? Why the f**k is this the number one announcement. Well the answer is very simple really. IT’S A NINTENDO64 GAME ON AN XBOX. See, very simple! Brushed by really quickly at Microsoft's Press Conference, this is definitely the biggest surprise of the year thus far! Not only that but all the Nintendo logos and product placement will remain, as will the long awaited Stop N’ Swap! As of right now they say Stop N’ Swap will be fully compatible with the upcoming Banjo- -Tooie, also for XBLA. This finally lets to rest what Rare fans have been waiting for since we found out that these new systems would be able to download older games, Banjo is 100% owned by Microsoft and we will never see any Rare owned products on the Wii’s Virtual Console. Oh and bonus knowledge, the reason why Goldeneye007 was never released was because of Nintendo’s relationship with Activision. Activision owns the rights to Bond and Nintendo said “If you allow for the XBLA release of Goldeneye007 then we will blacklist you on our systems… which means no Guitar Hero III on Wii”. Well as we all know GHIII on Wii is the best selling GHIII. Activision would have lost millions on the decision.

Tune in tomorrow for a picture I sent to www.failblog.com Let’s hope it makes it on the site.